Lately God has been dealing with me about my attitude.
I am going through the dreaded menopause and my emotions are so raw. My family is constantly telling me how I am always mad. I keep saying the wrong things. I try to be funny but end up hurting my husbands feelings. I am constantly being criticized and it is just awful. I find myself building walls and keeping to myself more and more just to avoid saying the wrong thing or coming across mad. It makes me feel so lonely and sad. It’s a vicious cycle that I am desperately trying to find my way out of.
Last week my husband worked on screening in our back porch. He had the worst attitude about it. He was grumpy. It was obvious that he did not want to do this project. He resented doing it. He wanted to be out hunting or on the tractor or putting fences around the property. Anything but screening in the porch. His bad attitude made me realize that I have a confession to make.
I am doing all the things to take care of my family: cooking, cleaning, laundry, stocking the pantry, teaching Noah, helping with projects around the farm and absolutely anything else I am asked to do.
I do all these things because I love my family.
But I have not been doing them in Love.
I have been doing all the things begrudgingly. Grumbling under my breath while I go pick something up at the store. Throwing dinner together with a bad attitude, “Why do I always have to cook” or “Why can’t someone else do this” or “I just want to go out to dinner”. The laundry- who even cares if there are wrinkles? No one even notices that the clothes are clean!
I have let the mundane chores become a bitter place for my bad attitude to dwell.
As I watched my husband work so hard on screening in the porch, I wanted to tell him how ridiculous his behavior was but there was this still, small voice that had me look at my own attitude instead. The Lord reminded me of a scripture that deals with confronting another person.
Here’s what the Bible says about his bad attitude in Matthew 7:
3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
I confess that one hurt a little! And that reminds me of my favorite coffee mug…
Every morning I drink coffee from this mug that one of my precious students gave me last year. It’s pale pink inside and has 1 Corinthians 16:14 written on both sides.
1 Corinthians 16:14 “Let all that you do be done in Love”.
It’s such a simple reminder!
So HOW do I fix my attitude? Drinking more coffee might help, but that alone will not work! Trust me, I’ve tried.
I began by confessing in prayer: “Father God, I am sorry for my bad attitude. Somewhere along the way I have lost my joy in these mundane tasks and stopped doing them IN LOVE. Please help me to do these things IN LOVE. I know that I am not only doing them for my family, but I’m doing them for YOU as an act of worship. I’m thankful for this family you blessed me with. I’m thankful for the washer, dryer, running water, refrigerator, pantry, stove to cook on, dishwasher, vacuum, broom, mop, beds to make, clothes to wash, and people to love. I am blessed beyond measure! I will praise you as I prepare our meals, as I clean our home, as I shop for food, and do all the tasks you have set before me. Please remove any bitterness, any anger or resentment that has rooted itself in my mind or heart. Amen.”
Next, I apologized to my husband and my kids. Just a simple apology and acknowledgement can go a long way in making things right again. It will take effort to purposefully do things in love again, and I am sure that I will mess up along the way, but I am going to try my best and let God do the rest!
It’s so easy to get burned out in this life. Our routines become roots of bitterness instead of themes of thankfulness.
My prayer for you today is that somehow my confession will help you get the speck out of your own eye. Perhaps your “speck” is not a bad attitude. Perhaps it’s jealousy or anger. Perhaps it’s unforgiveness or sin. Whatever it may be, there is One who loves you and want’s you to confess, apologize and give it over to Him. More coffee won’t fix it. More business won’t fix it. Only God can fix these broken places in our lives, and only if we let Him.
I am reminded of this song by Steven Curtis Chapman I heard on the radio a few years ago. It was so relevant to me then, with the craziness of 3 children in the house. It really helped me change my view of motherhood and how I can worship the Lord in all that I do. Here’s the cheesy video: https://youtu.be/uVTeIMursb8
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